It’s high time we all faced the elephantine reality about the Killers: they’re not going to get any better.

Anathallo’s melodies and jubilant harmonies are finally anchored to concise, palatable song structures.

Calexico concludes their tour in support of Carried to Dust at the Sunshine Theater in Albuquerque.

This album doesn’t make an aggressive statement so much as it passively suggests that perhaps Shiny Toy Guns are more than the Best Electronic/Dance nominees.

In case you’re still thinking of seeing the now two-week-old Twilight, here’s one last warning.

Tired of bad best albums of the year lists? This year, you’re the editor.

Restored after a deadly 2001 fire, the Cathedral of St. John the Divine in Morningside Heights celebrates with pageantry and dignitaries.

I thought Steven Curtis Chapman could rest on his laurels after "All About Love" soared the height of Christian sappiness, but he has truly slathered the saccharine in his ungrammatically titled latest, “Good Bye. Mr. President.”

He says the song is apolitical: “Whether you voted for him & love him, or you’ve disagreed with all his policies and dislike him... Could we all agree on this? We owe President Bush a sincere thank you.”

This is the first “It’s not that simple” this song provokes. If approval polls are any indication, quite a lot of people voted for him and loved him and now disagree with all his policies and dislike him. And the song is not apolitical. At all.

Australia: a colossal failure or Thanksgiving Weekend family fun? A Patrol dialogue.

Coldplay’s addendum to Viva la Vida is mindlessly but endlessly pleasant.

Browsing the $85 million renovations to the Museum of American History in Washington, D.C.

Kanye West’s fourth record could stand to more concise and less fixated with its own gimmicks.

Next on the list of catch all job-descriptions that sound fancy but do next to nothing is the stylist. There are the fashion stylists, who can tell you what not to wear just as easily as the hobo on the bus, albeit with more sarcasm. Then there’s food stylists, whose most brain-wrenching task is figuring out how to make the milk look more “milky” (hint: it’s chalk), or even the personal stylist who will do all of your shopping for you.

Now enter the music stylist. Yes, that’s right ... music, because clearly people are too lazy busy with their fast-paced lives to actually listen to music to see if they like it.

Their job description originally created by businesses and restaurants looking for that just-so ambiance, music stylists are now being hired by the rich folk. They’ll come into your home, look at your décor, photos, and sometimes current taste in music to determine what music would fit your mood and lifestyle.

Save one song from each part, there is nothing on I Am … Sasha Fierce that sounds like it should be performed by a singer of Beyoncé‘s class.

We have tended on this blog to be oustpokenly critical of Christianist organizations that engage in strident scaremongering about gay marriage (and of course, churches that are so worried about Katy Perry they have to have their public say). The truth is, it's far more complicated on both a scientific and a civic level than most conservative evangelicals accept. And, the argument usually goes, the church has so little credibility on homosexuality that it seems best if it stopped wasting social capital on gay marriage bans and high-minded glorifications of single-issue voting. Hysteria is a dead weight on any serious political cause, and the exhibition of it in the Christian political community (note: not synonymous with "the church") has long been a textbook case on the fastest way to lose a culture war.

But in the interest of balance, it seems only fair to deal with the hysteria on the other side of the issue, specifically, on the other side of Proposition 8, the initiative that banned gay marriage in California on November 4th. The Los Angeles Times reported yesterday that "liberal Hollywood" (their term) is wondering if there should be "boycotts, blacklists, firings or de facto shunning of those who supported Proposition 8." Hardly shocking; Christians have always kind of assumed that Hollywood's atmosphere was exactly like that. But working in tandem with Hollywood are gay-rights activists who "continue to comb donor lists and employ the Internet to expose those who donated money to support the ban." Here's who they're after so far:

I don’t know many musicians, if any, who do not recall with jaw-slacking stupor the first time they heard Jaco Pastorius play his Fender Jazz Bass.

Who Killed Harry Houdini? is more imitative than it’s predecessor, but it’s not markedly worse off for it.

We've been hearing for a while about the Metropolitan Transit Authority's looming budget shortfall, which the Times reported today will be $1.2 billion by next year. MTA chief executive Elliot Sander said that the system would likely face "draconian" cuts in service, as well as a major fare increase in order to close the deficit.

The Times' City Room is now reporting that the MTA will increase rates a staggering 23 percent by next June, as well as hack a number of lines and close stations across New York. The gloomy forecast after the jump.

MTVu’s 2008 “Woodie Awards” in New York showed which branch of the network still cares about music.

So no one liked the new Bond movie. But there are lots of reasons to love the soundtrack.

A collaborative novel between Christian scare-authors Ted Dekker and Frank Peretti becomes a brutal mess of a movie.

With a bed on stage, a Texas megachurch pastor launched a weeklong “sexperiment” on Sunday, encouraging his married members to have sex for seven straight days and keep a journal of their experience. “We're going to talk about the joy of sex because those of us who are in the church, we're really the sexperts…” said Ed Young.

Sarah Palin should spend the next eight years following in Hillary Clinton’s footsteps.

Following a classical violinist into New York’s vibrant Irish music scene.

Stripping the Belle & Sebastian repertoire of its post-production elegance makes for an interesting keepsake.

Is Quantum of Solace the brash-action neo-Bond at his best, or just another Bourne movie?

For your weekend playlist: the best five songs we could find in the tubes this week.

Not a lot of groundbreaking music, but plenty of the of the catchy, guitar-jamming, country-pop mix that quickly made Taylor Swift princess of the highways.

The rumors are true. Blue Like Jazz….the MOVIE! And Miller fans are meeting it with excitement and hesitant optimism. Here’s the breakdown…

Yes, Scanner readers, we are well aware of your opinions on Gossip Girl. We are also aware that you think I (David) am a girly man for watching it, and that we (David/Alisa/et al) only exhibit our shallow minds and unevolved tastes by writing about it. Thus, we have not written about it in a good while.

But alas, we are still recovering from a stressful, frenetic political season. And what better way to get back to normal than by vicariously living the extravagant lives of our imaginary New York neighbors? Particularly the most absurd, unrealistic, laughable, comical episode in its history? And even more to the point, how can you not love a show that leads to conversations (if we may insult the term) like this?

(We're still not sure what possessed us to share this. Really, we have no idea. The whole sad shebang after the jump.)

All it takes to get a part in Wicked on Broadway? A headshot, a resume, and sixteen bars of singing. Theoretically.

The Bob Dylan of 2008 is still bringing it. So much for not trusting anyone over thirty.

Yes, yes, I know. Two Daily Crazy posts in one day ... it's too much to be endured. But you wouldn't have wanted to wait until tomorrow to hear this.

As we all know, Jesus came back last Tuesday. But what perhaps we didn’t know was that Barack Obama—he of the pretentious website and the “Office of the President Elect”—is also to become the Holy Father of the United States. Allow me to explain.

Today, the Washington Post blog “On Faith” has a fantastically absurd post that holds up Obama as the leader of a new “spiritual moment” in America. Our nation is apparently ravenous for vague, non-religious spiritualism, and Obama won by “modeling the qualities of a spiritual leader.” Until this very year, the big spiritual question regarded the tension between faith and science, a debate that “spilled over into politics, making for a little progress and a lot of division.” But now, all of that is irrelevant; this year, because Americans have decided to get over all that and move toward a non-divisive spiritualism, they need a president who will “channel the spiritual surge toward action.”

From today's "are you serious" files: The city of Batman in Southeast Turkey is suing Warner Brothers for not seeking permission to use the Batman name. “There is only one Batman in this world,” said town major (mayor) Huseyin Kalkan. "Without telling us, the U.S makers of the films have taken the name of our region."

To be fair, the town was founded in 1937, two years before the cartoon character debuted in Detective Comics #27 and six years before it he debuted on film. And Kalkan promises to use the money to feed the community. But the case could never hold up in court. Two people, organization, or entities sharing the same name is as much grounds for a lawsuit as me suing all other younger Jonathon M. Seidls for name infringement. And think about it this, do all the Springfields in the U.S. get to sue FOX and The Simpsons? Or do all the Springfields get to sue one another? Or maybe Hell, Michigan should sue the Devil. Or what about Garfield, New Jersey, Archie, Missouri, or Henry, Illinois?

The sunshine hasn’t really set since we last listened, slept, and repeated: it’s warm in all the same ways, bright in all the same places, and trickles into the shadows with all the same meandering subtlety.

The Decemberists turned their recent Terminal 5 show into an Obama worship service. Haven’t these people believed in anything before?

We watch the shows so you don’t have to! What happened this week on Saturday Night Live, Gossip Girl, 30 Rock, and more.

Coldplay’s epic post-election show in Atlanta, Georgia.

Words & Music is a reverse journey into Matt Hales’ artistic chronology, finished out with appropriately historic musical references.

The best thing about the end of this election is that it just keeps going on and on and on and on! A sampling of doomsday Facebook status updates mourning the end of freedom, America and the world after the jump.

What campaign signs and Google maps can tell you about your community.

The third party debate in Washington, DC got just as much coverage as it deserved—not much.

If you’re a Christian and still torn about how to vote tomorrow, there’s only one thing to do: don’t.

Patrol editors speak with columnist Christopher Hitchens and pastor Douglas Wilson.

Maybe it was the fact that Fall Vogue was heavier than the dumbbells I lift at the gym. Or maybe it was the fact that as I eagerly turned the pages of the latest ­Elle, I was struck by page after page of weirdly interesting but extremely high priced “bargain” fashion.

Oh, wait, I’m sorry, I missed the memo where $500 for a skimpy clubbing top is a deal.

A Swedish publisher releases a style-magazine version of the New Testament called The Book.

With a voice that can be as rough as a cat’s tongue and as soft as its fur, Ray LaMontagne has staged a triumphant third album that examines the politics of the heart.

The blogosphere is dead, and we killed it.

Valleywag blogger Paul Boutin thinks amateur blogging, the backbone of the blogosphere, has been killed by overproduced and machine-style blogs. For him, such blogs are not really blogs. Conclusion: real blogging is dead. But is it really? Blogging is harder, yes, but that doesn’t mean it’s dead. Bloggers are better, their products are better, and the better amateurs are pushing out the stuck-in-their-parents’-basement amateurs. It’s called competition. 

Focus on the Family’s gruesome scenario for 2012 is heavy on wild speculation. Should anyone pay attention?

If the passive-aggressive, rock-as-pop Snow Patrol formula does it for you, be prepared to have a new favorite record for a few months.

We watch the shows so you don’t have to! What happened this week on Saturday Night Live, Gossip Girl, The Office and more.

Partisans, swing voters, and starstruck thousands hear Barack Obama speak at a country club in the richest county in America.

We’ve heard quite a bit now about Barack Obama’s “moment.” It’s a difficult notion to rebut: how else would he have soundly trounced the Democratic Party’s slam-dunk candidate, who also happened to be a far more experienced woman? How else would he be, as of today, leading John McCain in the national polls by 7 points?

Especially considering our country’s financial dilemma, it may be impossible to argue that this is not Obama’s made-in-heaven moment. But The New Republic leads off its cover endorsement with a viscerally bleak portrait of said moment:

The founder of the Stuff White People Like goes to the America’s whitest city to explain why he “can’t stop being a pretentious idiot.”

Nashville musician Levi Weaver talk about his New York shows, why he’s rooting for the Rays, and why he loves silence.

The genius of Keane’s new direction is that, like Coldplay on Viva la Vida, it allows them to meet fans and critics halfway without exposing their reluctance to really try something new.

Want to work for the newest online culture magazine in New York? Here’s your chance.

The Tampa Bay Rays may have taken a decade to give baseball fans something to watch, but they taught me everything I know about web design.

We watch the shows so you don’t have to! What happened last week on Gossip Girl, The Office, Grey’s Anatomy and more.

We made it into the dress rehearsal for Saturday Night Live‘s “Weekend Update Thursday”—featuring “crazy McCain lady!” Here’s what happened.

Call + Response, a music-driven “rockumentary,” sheds light on the disgusting facts of human trafficking.

 For your weekend playlist: the best five songs we could find in the tubes this week.

Follow Patrol as we Twitter live from NBC Studios, where we’re watching the dress rehearsal of Saturday Night Live‘s special-edition “Weekend Update.”

Christopher Buckley's endorsement of Barack Obama didn't catch too much attention when it was first posted, but it virtually blew up yesterday. Buckley, the son of conservative movement founder and National Review founder William F. Buckley, avoided NRO for his predictably controversial endorsement. Instead, he published it on Tina Brown's new site The Daily Beast. (Gawker smells a publicity stunt.)

Chris, like all Buckleys, is a sharp-witted satirist and, unlike all Buckleys, is not a "movement" conservative. He describes himself as a "small-government conservative who clings tenaciously and old-fashionedly to the idea that one ought to have balanced budgets." He's a libertarian on social issues like gay marriage and abortion. Like most "intellectual" (can we use that word anymore?) commentators, he dislikes being pigeonholed. In a longer explanation of why he subsequently resigned from National Review, he explains that his father "held to rigorous standards, and if those were met by members of the other side rather than by his own camp, he said as much."

The war-room speechmaking floating around this familiar plot makes Body of Lies just another action movie with inches-deep political undertones.

Christians like Doug Phillips of Vision Forum Ministries say that Christians are sacrificing Biblical standards to embrace John McCain (an “unacceptable candidate” with a “horrific… left-wing, anti-family, track record") and Sarah Palin, who apparently “calls for some of the more radical feminist reforms advanced by a vice presidential candidate in history." Voddie Baucham asks, “Are we saying that pro-family means one thing when we’re in church, but something else when we’re trying to beat the Democrats?"

They’re a radical fringe within one of Christianity’s fringes, but since major news sources find it fascinating and other Christians might find themselves muddled if they tried to articulate an answer, it’s time to address the problem.

Presidential endorsements, like albums-of-the-year lists, are always fascinating. They're usually entirely subjective, hopelessly biased, and ultimately pointless. But I can never get enough. So over the next few weeks before the election, if you will humor me, I will subject you to a series of endorsement pick-aparts. I'll say my piece, then discuss your opinions with you in the comments. This is the first entry, but henceforth you'll be able to find the complete series here.

Today in Slate, Christopher Hitchens makes his not-surprising endorsement of Barack Obama. Hitchens has been one of the most interesting campaign commentators this cycle, with his self described "single issue" concern for national security, his hatred of Hillary "Terrible Woman" Clinton, and, finally, his distaste for Sarah Palin. Despite its generous use of hyperbole, Hitchens' analysis is often sharp and insightful, not to mention entirely unafraid to say outright what others hedge and couch.

We watch the shows so you don't have to! What happened this week on Saturday Night Live, The Office and America's Next Top Model.

Oasis has now reached middle-age, and with it comes LP Number 7. These eleven cuts reveal the same old band, still grubbing for the soul they captured as much younger men.

 For your weekend playlist: the best five songs we could find in the tubes this week.

Right and left, red and blue will meet at the cinema this weekend to see An American Carol and Religulous. What will the discussion be like? There won’t be one.

We have all heard about the last phase of Microsoft's much-discussed $300 million campaign to rescue its products from the colorful smears of Apple. It kicked off with the "I'm A PC" commercial, which co-opts the stereotype from Apple's commercials and, like all good comebacks, wears the insult with pride. Cascading shots of PC users from all walks of life declaring how they use Windows lead to the central thesis of the new Windows brand, "Life Without Walls."

Now that we're beginning to see advertising skirmishes on the streets of New York, we can talk about whether or not the print versions of the "life without walls" theme do as much good as Microsoft hopes. Here, a Windows ad on the side of a bus a few moments ago:

Ben Folds debuts his new album in Washington by reminding everyone that they take him seriously at their own risk.

The New Yorker Festival last weekend was a bazaar of intellectual elitism. But you know what? It’s time for bristling America to start listening.

So here we go with our first liveblog of the campaign, live (figuratively) from tonight's faceoff between Barack Obama and John McCain in Nashville, Tennessee. Tonight's format is "town hall," so 80 undecided voters will join the candidates on stage and direct the questioning.

Our blog will be contained in this post, with the latest update appearing at the top (below). The page will automatically refresh every 5 minutes, but feel free to refresh all you like to get the updates faster. We will also be posting each update to Patrol's Twitter feed; you may receive our tweets on your phone by following us.

Death Cab for Cutie takes the stage at Radio City Music Hall for what felt like a victory lap.

Watching an eclectic crew of young Republicans watch Palin’s debate performance at a Chelsea club.

Dear John McCain,

We get it. You’re a maverick. But it's beginning to feel like product placement gone bad: “John McCain! He’s the maverick! You know what mavericks go great with? Presidencies! So put this maverick down for your president today!”

It’s cool if you want people to think you’re the lone ranger. But was it necessary to have Sarah Palin refer to you as a maverick six times in her vice-presidential debate?

We watch the shows so you don’t have to! What happened this week on SNL, Gossip Girl, Fringe and America’s Next Top Model.

For your weekend playlist: the best five songs we could find in the tubes this week.

Keira Knightley plays pre-feminist sort-of-empowered woman: one learning to live with society’s rules and manipulate them to her benefit.

Does You Inspire You is a window-dressed shop of styles and ideas, the false starts and experiments of a band still deciding what exactly to wear.

So once upon a time, there was a guy who played in a band called Korn, one of the world’s worst and most evil bands (those two things not necessarily related). After a whirlwind decade or so of sex, drugs, alcohol, and terrible music, he decided that there was more to life, and that his current path would leave him dead very soon.

A national poll has finally confirmed all the anecdotal evidence breathlessly reported all year - that young evangelicals are all flaming liberals who worship Barack Obama and the polar icecaps.

Well, sort of confirmed it. Young white evangelicals still support McCain over Obama by a wide margin (62-30%) and are still solidly pro-life. But compared to older white evangelicals, they’re less gung-ho for the GOP. Young evangelicals are less likely to support McCain and view him favorably, and more likely to feel coldly towards George Bush. A majority support civil unions for same-sex marriages and a majority (55%) identify themselves as either moderate or liberals. Two particularly intriguing bits after the jump. 

Our friends at Collide, a magazine about church and media, have tossed out an interesting ultimatum to the church at large: stop using media. Their premise being that most of the church’s rampant problems getting media right stem from the fact that the church really has nothing to say via those mediums, it is just using them because they are available and seem trendy or, infinitely worse, “relevant.”

Dance or Die is more a foretaste of Family Force 5’s bright future than an entirely coherent album. But it is intermittently brilliant, which may be as good as saying it’s the best Christian album of the year.

The Bush Administration and Democrats in Congress were left palming their faces in frustrated defeat. But the crisis hasn’t disappeared yet, and neither has the bailout.

The most-read articles, reviews, and blogs on Patrol for September 2008.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s twisted faith language is a reminder that any of us can manipulate convenient definitions of powerful words for our own ends.